As a young autistic adult in Nigeria, stepping into adulthood may present a unique set of challenges; slightly more complex than those of the average kid. It may also just go near to easy for you. We all have very distinct stories and our journeys would be different.
Here’s some valuable advice to make your life meandering a lot less chaotic:
- It is important to embrace that being autistic is an integral part of who you are and you can’t pray it away or therapy it away. Acceptance is key. Accept that this is the person you are and just make a decision to wake up every day to love yourself and be your number one advocate. Do not let anyone make you feel like something is not normal about you and when you encounter such people, protect your bubble so fiercely so that you either teach them to treat you better (that’s not really your job by the way so don’t feel obliged) or distance yourself from them while you give them a chance to grow into better thought processes. It is very key to surround yourself only with people who let your light shine brightly and are a safe space for you. That is, of course where you have the opportunity for options.
- I mentioned earlier already, learn to advocate for yourself. However way is the most realistic and convenient for you, always be your number one advocate at home amongst your immediate family members, when you’re with your friends, when you’re on the roads, when you’re at school, when you’re at work. Understand what your needs are and don’t be afraid to communicate how you can. Where you need guidance or encouragement on safe ways to do that in Nigeria please email me at <autismnetwork.ng@gmail.com>
- Surround yourself with people or one person who understands you and genuinely care about you. Don’t beat yourself too much about it if your first choices turn out to be bad people, we will learn that lessons learned along the way can help you get better at discernment. In addition to this, seek out friends, mentors and allies of the autistic community in Nigeria.
- Discover your passions and interests and pursue them with unwavering belief in yourself. Whatever makes you happy, make sure that is what you’re constantly doing. Pursuing a life you love is not always a linear path whether you’re an autistic or a neurotypical so expect some hurdles. Just keep focusing on the finish.
- Develop life survival skills and independence; as much as your physical abilities allow you, learn to clean up after yourself and always look your best. Learn to cook basic meals, learn to manage your transportation safely, learn to never be afraid to ask questions when you’re not sure what to do. Some of these life skills are genuinely therapeutic to manage even. You may enjoy some of them very much.
- Set realistic personal and professional goals for yourself x. If your goal is become a professor. Take out a note or your iPad and draw up a plan on your Notion. Realistic plans are plans that are achievable in the timelines you’ve set for them with the resources at your disposal. Honey, there’s nothing wrong with being delusional sometimes. I’ve delusion you thank for many things that have gone right in my life. Believe in yourself.
- Research job opportunities and uni courses that align with your strengths. Make sure you’re choosing fields that let you shine bright. The playing field is already set up against you. People less technically competent than you may grow faster just for being agreeable and extrovert. Your super power is being the best at whatever it is that you do. Don’t play yourself trying to be a doctor if what you’re meant to be is a talent manager.
- Practice self-care. Find out inexpensive and ethical ways to rejuvenate and relax as much as your life schedule allows you.
- Learn from challenges and learn from your mistakes; don’t ever waste too much time regretting stuff. Move on quickly. When you fall. Get up very quickly and walk on. You can dust your clothes later. Just get up first.
- Stay informed. You’re very likely an introvert so you might be missing on out on the information that’s being shared in friend groups on life-changing opportunities. Learn to do your own homework. Scour the internet every other day looking for opportunities that align with your life goals. Apply for everything!
- Celebrate your achievements no matter how little and keep a memory diary of your life. Take pictures. Write notes. Cherish your journey.
- Keep an open mind: don’t become too obsessed with keeping your bubble safe that you let yourself miss out on beautiful people and beautiful experiences. Always trust your gut though and don’t let bad people get the chance to do you nasty more than twice (the second time was you giving them the chance to grow).
Always remember you’re not alone. Embrace your potential and seen help when needed. The path may be a bit challenging but it’s also laced with incredible life experiences.